Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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