Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
