I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
