thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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