I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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