i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Come see our sink grown plant.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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