I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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