I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"