Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream