I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.