I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm at about main and main street
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?