To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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