Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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