i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the day after is always just damage control
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize