I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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