she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize