i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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