Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
