I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize