My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
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My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize