Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
