I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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