38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
