dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
