Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
