using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
