We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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