i just google imaged poop.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
