I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
