well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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