taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
