i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
