I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
