dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
