a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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