Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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