i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
