do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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