I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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