My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
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Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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