OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
