So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
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I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
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He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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