Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
