she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
