Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize