Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
