girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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