rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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