So drunk its hurt
only if we run a train.
done.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
