god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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