Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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  (480): Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room. (1-480): Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess? (480): You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about. http://tfl.nu/fd7a
  Replies (38) Good night (7475) Bad night (788)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week

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  (780): girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week http://tfl.nu/5wm5
  Replies (32) Good night (6714) Bad night (1154)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.

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  (708): This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight. http://tfl.nu/ioqv
  Replies (30) Good night (9503) Bad night (1020)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...

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  (774): Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face... http://tfl.nu/rmtg
  Replies (13) Good night (2907) Bad night (1304)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.

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  (773): I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax. http://tfl.nu/p0im
  Replies (10) Good night (2456) Bad night (1058)
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  (510): View more from California

  Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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  (510): Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed http://tfl.nu/wx92
  Replies (4) Good night (2646) Bad night (886)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.

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  (906): I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night. http://tfl.nu/lw8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (586)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
  Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (1200)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.

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  (651): I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like. http://tfl.nu/5ic3
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (904)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

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  (506): Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies. http://tfl.nu/zmgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1466) Bad night (521)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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  (580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (329)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea

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  (513): And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3w5v
  Replies (13) Good night (778) Bad night (466)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...

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  (214): I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter... http://tfl.nu/te1k
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (294)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.

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  (630): you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way. http://tfl.nu/lvrh
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (289)
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  (415): View more from California

  Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.

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  (415): Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth. http://tfl.nu/zrpp
  Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (384)

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