Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype

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(740): View more from Ohio

ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.

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(714): View more from California

turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

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(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in

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(713): View more from Texas

He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"

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(847): View more from Illinois

Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible

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