The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
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Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, beer. Big fan.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.