I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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