i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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