so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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