I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You ruined the universe
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
