Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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